Today's paternity leave accomplishments: cleaned, cooked, reread some DeLillo, long walk w/ Jane, caught a projectile newborn shit midair.

— Brandon Stosuy (@brandonstosuy) May 22, 2013

Chris Angelini let his toddler-sized son try on his Google Glass while they went to get some juice. The takeaway: HOLY SMOKES, KIDS ARE SHORT! SERIOUSLY, the world looks so weird when seen entirely from crotch height. [via waxy]

Rejoice, Western Hemispherians! Yvan Pestalozzi's Lozziwurm playground structure is open for business at the Carnegie. Go check it out, or maybe wait a little longer, until the amazing-looking playground design exhibition opens in June. Just sayin'.

A Playful Worm For Carnegie Museum of Art [ci13blog.cmoa.org]
Previously: Western Hemisphere and/or Pittsburgh Finally Getting A Lozziwurm

Dad why are you taking pictures of me when I'm stuck?Because people need to see this. twitter.com/herdyshepherd1...

— herdyshepherd (@herdyshepherd1) May 20, 2013

As a public service, Daddy Types holds back on publishing all the incendiary, headscratching, anxiety-inducing, clickbaiting WTFparenting stories during the week, to offer them up all at once in a little weekend-ruining feature we call the Friday Freakout. Here it is:

"Real Winners Don't Have Work-Life Balance," argues Business Insider. To make the case for ignoring your kids on nights and weekends AND during the day, BI quotes the CEO of a PC company [did not know they still existed] and a career coach and self-styled business guru with fewer Twitter followers than an abandoned Ikea monkey. Who argues on his own siteblog, btw, that so many of his female clients are obviously lying about their career ambitions and really just want a man to take care of them. Lean in when you say that! [businessinsider.com]

So I assume you know that the Bangladeshi garment worker who sewed your kid's $5 Children's Place t-shirt and $15 Target jeans is dead now, right? In a pile of factory rubble? I have to assume that since no one in the cheap clothing industry and no one in the cheap clothing market, which is everyone at every mall ever, wants to talk about it. [NY Times]

And now, I must say, it has taken me all week to not write this post. Almost every typing hour was spent fighting the urge to unleash the hounds against this epic-level mom troll. But I made it.

A friend of my wife's likes to say, in regards to parenting, "Don't get on the rollercoaster." It's advice that comes in especially handy when faced with a tantrum or a meltdown. And you have to remind yourself that a kid does not yet have the fully developed mental or psychic capacity to control his emotions, to provide a reasonable, modulated response to a situation they might not like. Kids lack this ability; it's our jobs as parents to teach it to them, to help them develop it; this implies, of course, that we ourselves have this capacity for appropriate response and interaction ourselves.

And that when faced with intransigence, inexplicable or sudden outbursts, or wailing, a can remind himself to not get on the rollercoaster. Just because your kid is twisting and turning every which way in a melted down Space Mountain, you do not have to join him. You just wait for the ride to end and for the rage rocket to come to a complete stop.

But even such a self-aware parent can find it difficult to keep his cool. Many adults do not seem to have this capacity or inclination at all. I remember standing on the corner of Madison Avenue where a well-dressed mom was arguing with her 3yo kid to hold her hand to cross the street. The kid was refusing. A couple of back & forths in, the mom suddenly screamed, "Give me your hand RIGHT NOW or I will throw your doll in the garbage!"

We don't know what was going on in this woman's life, but we don't have to know the details to be able to identify this as a sub-optimal strategy for getting a kid to do what you want. if only because this mom was also modeling an interaction approach--of yelling, threats, escalation, infliction of emotional harm, and destruction-- at the same time she was trying to get the kid's compliance.

Which brings us to the freakout, where the Magic Kingdom and the Upper East Side converge, the New York Post's headline-shaped bottle of lighter fluid, "Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World."

Such a rollercoaster. And look at that line of people passing the link around! I wonder if we should we get on?

The scandal turns out to be complete bullshit, of course. There are not "moms," but one mom, unnamed, and it's not clear that the story's writer ever actually spoke to her, or if she got the info and incendiary quotes secondhand from her former colleague, a self-styled "social anthropologist," who's writing a book on Park Avenue moms. And "guides" turns out to be one scooterbound lady and her booker boyfriend.

for the fullsize image of crowds at It's A Small World see Scootarama

The story raised red flags for Jane Magazine blogger (and Disney World superfan) Lesley, too, who called bullshit on the whole idea that going around with a disabled guest somehow gives you an edge at all.

And the Post glosses over the fact that Disney offers actual VIP Tours for $300/hr [min. 6 hrs] that actually do take your party of ten to the front of any ride you want, and that holds prime curbside spots for the parades, too? Shouldn't we be pitying these hapless Manhattanites who could have had the keys to the Magic Kingdom, but instead end up apparently schlepping around with a local grifter, all because they tried to save a measly thousand dollars?

This is what kept me off the rollercoaster, recognizing that every single choice in booking a Disney World visit is really a cost-benefit analysis, trading money for time, convenience and experience. Disney's entire system is calibrated to deliver precisely the experience you pay for; and everyone knows that. So what, exactly, is the outrage the Post is trying to stoke here, and who is its target?

"They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable." "A shameless ritual among Manhattan's private-school set." But it all comes down to the headline, "Rich Manhattan moms." "The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a 'handicapped' sign on it."

[Wait, a 1yo at Disney World? How many rides can't you take that kid on? Did the tour guide watch the baby while the family rode together? If the disabled person doesn't actually ride, can they still use the disabled guest entrance? But that's not important now.]

With the Post's lone, passive mention of the escorted "husband," women are left to shoulder sole responsibility for these outlandish, Orlandoish moral affronts. But by directly and repeatedly invoking The 1%, the Post tries to conflate their flimsy story of individual hustling with the ongoing protests against structural inequality and privilege. The Post genders criticism--and culpability--of The 1%, trying to ride the Tiger Mom of outrage that lingers unaddressed in our political and economic culture.

And for what? It would be seriously pathetic if this whole episode were just a plea for attention for a book of gossipy lifestyle porn that won't even be out until 2014. Even sadder would be a pitch for attention by a former Post writer trying to position herself as a faux-populist parenting expert, a cross between Caitlin Flanagan and Anne Coulter.

The most likely explanation, though, is the simplest and dumbest: that the emotional sophistication and integrity of these two NY Post hacks is such that they not only jump on the rollercoaster of this ridiculous spring break incident themselves, they try to drag everyone else along with them, for nothing more than reflexive WTFpageviews and retweets.

Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World [nypost]
YEAH NO: Rich Manhattan Moms Allegedly "Renting" Disabled People To Skip Lines At Disney World [xojane]

Because you can never have enough ninjas, here are ninjabread men cookie cutters. Also, I just like saying ninjabread men to myself. TRY IT!

Buy a set of three Ninjabread Men cookie cutters for like $5 [amazon via @mathowie, who just made some]

Alright, Stuart Gurr has so far built seven kid-sized cars for his 6yo daughter Scarlett, including a replica of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, a Cobra, a Bentley, two Bugattis, a Mini-and this insane Ferrari 250 GTO.

He makes them all himself, with aluminum bodies and spaceframes, in his restoration and machine shop, when he's not working on Mini superchargers.

But seriously, how this guy is a Mini supercharger expert with a side hobby of building his daughters' fleet, and not the emperor king of all bespoke kiddie cars, is completely beyond my comprehension.

The revolution may be coming, but it's not here yet; and there's still time to outfit the children of the global 0.1% with some hand-hammered mini-Ferraris before it hits.

Scarlett's Garage [scarlettsgarage.co.uk]
Half-scale 250 GTO latest creation built for daughter of the world's coolest dad [pistonheads via dt reader rolf]

Ogilvy Brasil is bringing the cutting edge of first world diapering technology home with this Huggies concept whereby a robotic urine sensor sends an alert to your iPhone when your kid needs a change.

It's called Tweet Pee, which means no one's told them about Elimination Communication OR Twitter.

Huggies TweetPee [youtube via likecool, thanks dt reader rolf]

I have this 1967 Creative Playthings catalogue lying around somewhere, but I swear, I never noticed these cardboard play structures until John from Wary Meyers pointed out these photos on a recent eBay auction.

First, yes, a flatpack Creative Playthings playhouse made from cardboard [alright, technically "plastic-coated fiberboard"]. Dig that CP logo cutout. Nice touch.

But that's not important now, because there is a Private Booth™:

The phone is public; the booth is private. That's the way AT&T does it; so that's the way the children want it...Telephones always stimulate verbalization, long conversations with real and imaginary friends. With a private booth added, it creates almost too much excitement to bear!

Creative Playthings was charging the equivalent of $83 for a 4' cardboard box. Which might help explain why no vintage survivor phone booths have turned up, and why there's no mention of them online. Because they were so crazy expensive, no one bought any. And so the entire production run is sitting, untouched, in a forgotten warehouse somewhere outside Princeton, NJ.

Come for the photo that accompanies this caption:

"Pictured, clockwise: Whit Honea (head in mini-bar), Andy Hinds, Charlie Capen and Doug French."

Stay for Betadad's very mature takedown of the Wall Street Journal's nonsensically sexist story about "Mommy Business Trips" which treats the Mom 2.0 Summit as nothing more than an irresponsible bachelorette party weekend.

The Daddy Business Trip, by Andy Hinds [parenting nyt]

A sign at some Dupont Circle salad restaurant today:

Well it's been a while since we've seen one of these 'round these here parts.

This is a 1993 BMW M5 Touring, one of only a very few that have ever made their way to the US. It was apparently federalized in 2001, and is currently for sale in Southern California for $25,000 or $26,000, depending on where you're reading.

1993 was the last year the M5 had the 3.8L inline-6. This example had the factory suspension swapped out, which has caused no end of consternation from the commentariat at Bring A Trailer.

But the asshauling reality and huhwhuh? rarity of the E34 M5 Touring, especially in the US, will surely help it find its next well-prepared owner.

1-of-841 [sic]: Federalized 1993 BMW M5 Wagon [bringatrailer.com via dt reader and M5 Touring hunter nathan]
1993 BMW Original Euro-spec M5 Touring (E34) [euromcars.com]
Previously: there are actually quite a few posts on DT about the BMW Tourings by now

This has been a LOLBABEEZ idea online for years, but this purports to be an actual product you can actually buy. I don't know if that's progress for civilization or a decline, but there you are.

It does make me want to see a kid with 360-degree mop coverage, though, for rolling around.

Baby Mop from Better Than Pants, $40 [betterthanpants via dt reader sara]

The Frieze Art Fair came and went in New York over the weekend. It was in a massive tent on Randall's Island, off the coast of the Upper East Side.

Photographer Scott Lynch captured this adorable scene on Thursday when a barefoot artworld ragamuffin clambered out of his Maclaren and onto Monica Bonvicini's Belts Couch, where he proceeded to whip out his iPhone and start taking picture of his mother.

See the full-sized image, plus more kid shots, plus more Frieze coverage, in Scott Lynch's flickr stream [flickr via gothamist]

Chicago artist/dj/dad Tony Fitzpatrick was quizzing his 4yo kid to come up with things that begin with each letter of the alphabet, and he decided to make an illustration project out of it.

Two+ years later, in 2001, Max and Gaby's Alphabet debuted at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Fitzpatrick's portfolio of intricate, 4-color etchings, were at the center of a larger public education campaign that taught elementary school drawing workshops and raised money for public school art supplies.

The Museum included a parental warning on the show which is hilarious. But I surfed through the limited edition portfolio that was put up for sale at Phillips last month, and except for the general Fitzpatrick-ian weirdness, it looks fine to me. Maybe 2013 parents aren't as uptight as 2001 parents after all.

BTW, that Alphabet portfolio, one of 50, did not reach its $12-18,000 estimate. So if you're looking for the real deal, you may still have a chance to haggle. Or you can buy the life-sized facsimile catalogue from the MCA, which is considerably less expensive.

Buy Tony Fitzpatrick: Max And Gaby's Alphabet, the catalogue, out of print, starting at like $27 [amazon]
Apr 29, 2013, LOT 27 TONY FITZPATRICK Max and Gaby's Alphabet portfolio, 2000, est. $12-18k, didn't sell [phillips]

What do you make of this? A pteradactyl? A brooch? There's a sale at Buggies!

The Bugaboo Showroom in LA is throwing open the doors and clearing out the merch with a sample sale this coming Saturday, May 18, from 10-2. There's supposedly a bit of everything: the Bee, Cameleon, and Donkey, as well as accessories and such, at up to 75% off. Which might be enough of a discount to get you down to El Segundo.

If you go, I'd definitely be interested to hear what the deals were like. So I know whether it's interesting or useful enough to folks to be posting stuff like this. And if it's a bust, at least you can get a free copy of the Book of Mormon (non-musical version) at the LDS chapel across the street. So random.

Look, here's the deal.

I'm posting about this insanely awesome Creative Playthings grey wolf puppet, even though I'm bidding on it.

Because ultimately, my winning the puppet is less important to me than making sure that it gets reproduced, exactly as is, as a giant statue, at least five stories tall. And if you're just the guy who's gonna make that happen someday, somewhere, somehow, then I don't want to stand in your way. In fact, I'll back your Kickstarter and celebrate your project forever.

But if that is not your plan, and your commitment to a massive grey wolf statue is even slightly uncertain, I will make sure that bidding against me on this thing is one of the saddest choices you'll make in your empty little life.

Better that you get on board and help me find the mountaintop, city overlook, Indian casino, oligarch's dacha, Hamptons compound, or Central Park glen where it needs to be, and let's get this thing going.

BECAUSE THIS GIANT GREY WOLF PUPPET STATUE WILL HAPPEN, PEOPLE. IT MUST HAPPEN. JUST LOOK AT IT!

Vintage Creative Playthings Puppet - Grey Wolf - Made in USA, current bid: $25 + 6.53 s/h, auction ends May 14 [ebay]

It hit me a few weeks ago when DT reader and Cargo Collective guru Amber sent along the cover of Ishikura Hiroyuki's DIY cardboard furniture book, Papa, Mama, tsukutte!: damn, that is a fine and simple cardboard play kitchen!

And I wondered what America's cardboard play kitchens looked like, and I confess, I was a little disappointed.

Kids on Roof, the Dutch indie company which did so much to introduce colorable cardboard playhouses to the US, did make the Cocorico Cardboard Kitchen. But honestly, it is more like a cardboard oven. A toaster oven, really, and barely that. You might as well glue a couple of Cool Whip lids to a Pampers box and call it a day. [Go ahead, try it!] Anyway, not currently available.

The Pop N Play Kitchen shows innovative spirit. It packs flat, and opens like a screen, potentially creating an entire playspace. It is also printed with unnecessary crap that you or whoever smaller than you must paint over. I guess that can be a feature, not a bug. But still. I want to like this more. It has much potential.

Meanwhile, my gosh, look at this entire cardboard kitchen set from Morii-shiki Kougyou. There's a kitchen, a fridge, and a microwave, straight up cardboard, and pretty clean. The double folded edges are a nice touch in that, "I don't want my get to get a cardboard cut" kind of way.

On the downside, they're sold separately. And only in Japan. And the Japanese word for playing house is o-mama-goto, mama things.

Buy the Pop N Play Kitchen, $60 [amazon]
段ボール簡単工作シリーズ おままごとダンボールキッチン, Kitchen ￥ 2,936, Fridge ￥ 2,667, and Microwave ￥ 1,512 [amazon.jp]

Yes, this Best Motoring clip of a Japanese minivan track showdown is from 2007, so it's really of no use in deciding whether to buy a new Honda or a Mazda. Now its only value is to entertain, and entertain it does, even if you don't speak Japanese.

Though it helps, especially when a driver has trouble passing because the brakes automatically kick in when he gets too close to the car in front of him.

And while it appears that the Mazdas are thoroughly smoking the Hondas, a commenter notes that on the whole show, it's really the driver, "Drift King," who smokes the others, no matter what he's in.

Either way, professional drivers on closed course, do not attempt &c. &c.

Mazda Premacy (aka Mazda5), Honda Stream, Honda Odyssey [youtube via jalopnik, thanks dt reader rolf]

So this just happened at the San Francisco International Film Festival:

1st question from the audience was would Harrison [Ford] name their son who is scheduled to arrive in 4 Days.Glad he left it to them! #SFIFF

— Ted Hope (@TedHope) May 7, 2013

I guess if I had to come up with a shortlist of Harrison Ford names, I'd go with:

John Book
Deckard
Shiloh
Linus
Patriot, and for good measure,
Zabriskie

Jack Ryan, Indiana, and Han are gimmes; you shouldn't need to ask the man himself to come up with those.

Harrison Ford Filmography [imdb]

It is Design Week Mayhem in New York this week. As I was looking through the exhibitors at the Collective .1 Design Fair, I noticed that in addition to my kid-savvy buddy Patrick from Mondo Cane, there is both an open kids area, and at least one vintage kids design specialist. Kinder Modern is pretty new, not just new to me; designers Lora Appleton and Bachman Brown Clem are based in New York City, but their inventory has an interesting mix, definitely not just the usual suspects.

There's Karin Mobring's 1963 playtable & chairs for Ikea; some of those Russian mystery ply rockers; and this awesome, little 50s French school desk, which comes with a matching chair. I love the perforated metal shelf underneath. For some reason I am really feeling perforated metal right now.

Anyway, if you're on the Hudson this week, check them out, and if you spot any interesting kidstuff, drop us a line.

UPDATE And just like that, Lora from kinder Modern sends along a photo of their booth, complete with a giant photo of Klaus Graube's rope chair. My favorite has to be the awesomely Juddy Tripolino table & stools up top, by the awesomely named Primo Marghitola. Grazie!

1950s Industrial French Child's Desk & Chair [kindermodern via Collective .1 Design Fair, May 8-11, 2013, Pier 57 at 15th St [collectivedesignfair]

OK, straight-up, this fluorescent Ocean Pacific windbreaker makes me wish I had a toddler who I could force to hit 3,000 baseline shots a day before turning him over to Nick Bolletieri to raise into a money-minting champion.

Brilliantly Fluorescent Vintage Kids' 1990's OP Ocean Pacific Jacket sz 2 Toddler, $25 [warymeyers]

If the rest of the community is half as perceptive as this mom, Avenues will be the greatest school in the history of school:

Or, as Ella Kim, mother of a 4-year old, explains, Avenues took the anxiety of a New York parent -- albeit of a certain type -- "and designed a school around that."

Russian dashcams: they're not just for epicfail car crashes and apocalyptic meteorites anymore. It probably won't help, but if you really don't want to cry with joy over this happy Russian dashcam video compilation, I suggest you mute the music. [via kottke]

"The Russian dashcam videos made me cry." -- words I never thought I'd put together in a sentence during my lifetime.kottke.org/13/05/tender-m...

— Matt Haughey (@mathowie) May 3, 2013

It's been that kind of a week, the kind where you wish you could avoid all the freakout-inducing headlines from the worlds of parenting, science, and safety. Where you wish you could just bundle them all up into one, so you can WTF all at once and be done with it. Welcome to the DT Friday Freakout:

• Meimei had a little lamb. At least that's what she thought. But someone swapped it out with rat. The meat brokers were caught. [NYT]


• Maybe it was kind of hard to avoid the story about the 5yo shooting his 2yo sister with his new gun. [tpm]


• "Sperm cell release can be triggered by tightening the grip around the delivery organ, according to a team of nano and microsystems engineers and plant biologists." Plants. They're talking about plants. [sciencedaily]


• Bigger or smaller birthweight babies are more likely to be diagnosed with autism. [sciencedaily]


• Johnny can't read^{1, 2} because of minor fetal iodine deficiencies. 1) in 3rd grade, 2) as well as he might otherwise [sciencedaily]


• Choky hands are falling off some Waldorf-lookin' Land of Nod dolls, so all 2,500 have been recalled. [cpsc]

Big news from the TV front this week: Kevin Clash, who has already made history as the first male professional in a major American puppeteering league to come out as gay, got nominated for two Emmy Awards. After he left the cast of Sesame Street to wait out the storm over his twinky rentboys.

Congratulations, too, on the Emmy nomination for Jon Beavers and the rest of Fresh Beat Band [and both Marinas? Or just one? I don't know! Best Group category is going to be so awkward this year!] I wonder if Mickey Rourke has any advice on that.

Kevin Clash, ex-Elmo Puppeteer, Is Emmy Nominee [nyt]
Previously: Inside The Nick Jr Actor's Studio

OK, this is flat out amazing. Cowacca is a small strap and ring for kids to hang onto. It just clips on your belt, or backpack, or stroller, or wherever you need it to not lose a kid.

It is made of maple and leather. It was designed by Ono Rinao for a 2005-6 exhibition, Codo Mono Coto, which is a tricky Japanese way of writing "Kids Stuff." It was a design show about living the kid-included lifestyle.

Cowacca is still available at AssistOn, or you can rig your own, because now that you see it, it is the most obvious thing in the world.

Cowacca, Small strap for kids, ¥3,675 [assiston.co.jp via likecool, thanks dt reader rolf]
Codo Mono Coto shop/portfolio page [codonomocoto.jp]

It really is amazing that this exists. Peter Raacke designed the Papp collection of cardboard kids furniture in 1967. By any reasonable expectation, it should all have been destroyed and recycled a dozen times by now.

But someone apparently socked a set away in a dark, dry place--and got Raacke to sign it at some point--because this six piece set in beautiful condition is going up for auction at Dorotheum next month. Did I say six? It might be seven. And not to quibble in the face of rarity, but what exactly are those blue pieces? Blocks? Footstools? The boxes the chairs came in?

Whatever they are, the set comes with what looks to be a museums & crazypersons-only estimate. But still. If you know where to get one cheaper, go for it.

14 May 2013, Lot 269 A "Popp siebensachen" [sic] children's set, by Peter Raacke, est EUR 3 - 4,000 [dorotheum.com via an ambitious project collapsing, who has many more photos

Previously:
2008: Nice Raacke! Otto kids chair by Peter Raack, ltd rd. reissue, EUR99
2007: Paper or Plastic?

The Scottish Medical Journal reports that some Dutch guy heard that Scottish guys have better sperm quality because kilts and scrotal temperature and sure, why not?

Seriously, that is the level of the analysis we're talking about here. It's a miracle these people can reproduce at all.

'Real men wear kilts'.. The anecdotal evidence that wearing a Scottish kilt has influence on reproductive potential: how much is true? [smj]

Holy smokes, I had no idea that Gregg Fleishman, the plywood architect artist behind the Playgoda series of slot-together playground structures, is in the Burning Man business.

This will be the third year Fleishman and his collaborators are building a pavilion of chill on the open playa. The Temple of Whollyness will be 87' x 87' of interlocked wood, for hanging and contemplation.

There's a fundraising campaign, and I expect a Kickstarter will follow. Stay tuned.

Support The Temple of Whollyness [temple2013.org via dt reader nathan]
Throwback 2010: Whimsical Asian-Inspired Playhouse Debuts (sic) At Dwell on Design [inhabitots via dt reader nathan]
OG, 2008: Playgoda: Slot-Together Playground Nirvana

Alright, so we know that McDonald's Japan has made this McCrew Dance video to virally recruit the Kids Of Today to work there. This is not my concern.

But there is also a McCrew Dance instructional video. Which makes me wonder:

I have two small, kawaii, blonde children. They are both really quite good dancers. They could learn the McCrew Dance in a day.

It would be very kawaii. If I were to post a video of their kawaii McCrew Dance on YouTube, it's possible they could become Japanese viral video celebrities by the time they get there.

How might this impact their experience and our family vacation? Would this really only make it slightly more inconvenient to visit McDonald's? What are the upsides and downsides?

I ask you, fellow 21st century parents, how can we know the right time and place for exploiting our children for viral marketing purposes? Your insights are greatly appreciated.

So far they haven't taken me up on my suggestion to do a co-branded stroller with BP, but Maclaren is now rolling in style on Madison Avenue.

The Mark hotel and residences on the Upper East Side are delighted to announce that guests at the luxury landmark will have customized The Mark Maclaren strollers available for their use.

Maclaren outfitted their Globetrotter, basically the lightweight Volo with a partially reclining seat, with a canopy and cushion finished in The Mark's signature stripe fabric. Is that by Jacques Grange? I believe it is!

For the youngest guests, The Mark also provides a delightful gift tote^* from Zittles, the in-store toy boutique at Zitomer's, and a custom Mark bath toy. Which all sounds much more manageable than The Pierre. We stayed there once during construction, and they brought the kid a giant bucket of chocolate&candy-covered pretzels. She was sugar-high as a kite.

Don't even get me started on The Plaza.

The Mark Hotel [themarkhotel.com via their delightful publicists]
Previously: The Ultimate Strolling Machine: BMW Licenses Self To Maclaren

* half-gallon of juice sold separately.

Oh, hi there, Happy Punks!

John and Jana's new book, Happy Punks 123 A Counting Story, looks as awesome as their last title, A Rule Is To Break: A Child's Guide to Anarchy.

I confess, my kids' punk education had stalled at understanding the difference between mohawk and fauxhawk. but now, thanks to Happy Punks, they'll have at least 12 helpful and fun ways to counter groupthink and develop critical self-awareness!

Actually, I think it's just a fun and adorable counting book, but anyway.

Buy Happy Punks 1 2 3: A Counting Story right now, are you kidding?? BUY IT [amazon via @visitordesign]

There is a LOT to love about this awesome space at the energetic center of architect Moon Hoon's Panorama House, built in Chungbuk, South Korea. I mean, it's a family room, a stairway, a library, a home theater [with a giant dropdown screen] and a slide.

And it even creates a quieter study area underneath, outside the kids' bedrooms.

But honestly, all these engineered wood treatments are giving me kind of a headache. And that mesh safety rail contraption. And am I missing something, or is it possible to just push those books through, so they fall onto the head of your big sister cramming for her make-or-break middle school entrance exam? Wouldn't a backing of some kind, any kind, have helped? And what if you extended the shelves deeper underneath, couldn't you effectively double the storage space? And then hide all the crappy-looking books in the nook?

And is it a Korean custom, or the unintended side effect of having so many multi-use surfaces in your innovative house, that these kids seem to be standing on tables all the time?

Panorama House by Moon Hoon [contemporist via dt reader rolf]
Moon Hoon architect site [moonhoon]

Remember that amazing Volvo C303 that had been demilitarized and given a deluxe-looking, preschool dropoff line-ready metallic silver paint job? Yeah, this is not that.

The C303 was Volvo's 1970s military flagship, the Swedish equivalent to the Unimog and Pinzgauer, and they've been decommissioned after lifetimes of meticulous, military-grade maintenance, to climb their way into the rocky canyons of 4x4 lovers' hearts.

This example, a soft-top has a whole slew of highly practical and performance-related enhancements, like electronic ignition, inertial shoulder belts on all six seats, a custom lift for the 35" spare tire, and a custom-made bikini top. But it also retains approximately all of its wilderness and warzone functionality, from its NATO green paint to its dual winch mounts, dual batteries, and tire pump.

And it's apparently in highly documented, thoughtfully restored condition, with 3,000km since a restoration, and just 15,000km [!] total in more than 35 years.

Though a bunch of spare parts are included, you'll have to ask whether the seller will let you keep the booster seats, or if you should bring your own for the family chug back down from Massachusetts.

1975 Volvo TGB-1111 C303 Not a Jeep, pinzgauer, Unimog, Land Rover or Toyota FJ, current bid: $15,000, auction ends Apr. 21 [ebay, thx dt offroader nathan]
UPDATE: Sold for a very reasonable $16,601. The guy who bid $16,600 must be dying right now.

Previously: Carpool Commandos: Demilitarized Volvo C303

From The New Republic

First, Mire tried KinderCare again, but they wouldn't take Kendyll until Mire paid her debt; when she did, there were no openings. She called about a dozen centers, all of which were either too expensive or had no available slots. Mire thought she might have to turn down the job. "I just kind of broke down, because it seemed like nothing was going right, everything was just falling apart," she says. "I sat in my car for about thirty minutes. I was just like, I don't even know what to do anymore. Because I want to start this job, but I literally don't have nowhere for Kendyll to go."

We can wring our hands and shudder all we want over the dangerous, dystopian, slapdash, inefficient, and economy-throttling system of unprofessional, unregulated, uncertified, untrained day care in this country.

But what we can't do is pretend it's not a direct consequence of the choices and priorities of our political system.

[newrepublic]

It's not that Enzo Mari has never designed kids' furniture. It's just that he hasn't designed nearly enough of it.

Of course, there's the Play Wall, the beautiful corrugated cardboard folding screen from 1967. And there is the Seggiolina Pop, the polypropylene [cough, styrofoam, below] chair designed for mega-plastics mega-brand Magis in 2004. But in between, not so much furniture.

In 1974, when his exhibition of autoprogettazione DIY furniture opened, a father-to-be begged Mari to add a crib or small cot to the collection, but in over six years of looking, I've never turned one up.

But hey ho, look at this, it's a maquette for a shelf that Mari apparently made in 1975, and which he dubbed, "Il buon mobile per bambini. (Good furniture for kids)." It's made from various pieces and finishes of wood, with what look to be particleboard-type shelves.

It turned up at auction in 2007, at a sale containing dozens of Enzo Mari objects and sketches. It's not clear whose collection it was, but I have to think it's someone close to the designer, maybe a longtime studio associate or friend. Or maybe even the designer himself.

Though called a "maquette d'etagere," there's no indication it was ever produced, except this one, at this scale, 70cm x 55.5cm. I'd say that means you're free to make your own. un autoprogettazione perfetto per il bambini.

Lot 95: Enzo MARI, Exceptionnelle maquette d'étagère miniature "Il buon mobile per bambini" - 1975, est. EUR 4-5000, sold for EUR4,709 on 25 June 2007 [artcurial]
Seggiolini Pop kids chair by Enzo Mari for Magis Me Too, $87 [unicahome]

Here is a stroller turned into a vegetable cart, as photographed by Beatbeatrice at the Anilao Market in the Philippines. [instragram via @beabeatrice]

This is probably one of those days when you come home and hug Biggles, Posie and Tuppence extra tight. And then curl up with a subreddit full of other peoples' eye-opening baby names:

"I knew a Hamiley. A combination of Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus."

is just the tip of the naming iceberg.

Baby Names Beyond Parody [theawl]
This is why 14yos shouldn't have babies [reddit via @liabulaong]

So the Hotel Crillon on the Place de la Concorde in Paris is closing for a gut reno, and they're auction off basically everything, floor to ceiling, that might be worth more than the cost of hauling it to the dump.

There are 3,500 lots of furniture, lamps, rugs, curtains, dinnerware, china, pots, carts, uniforms, garbage cans, mirrors, towels, robes, sheets [!], the mini-bars [?], the luggage racks. And most of it looks like the anonymous, well-made but worn-out 50s-era French reproduction junk that it is.

They're even selling the fixtures from the store, and all the kind of random, shiny vitrines from the hallways. The only thing apparently not for sale: this kid-sized robe-- how you way, peignoir---that was hanging off this tired-looking display case, which is being sold, along with two more, on the last day of the 5-day sale, for an est. EUR 400-600 on Apr. 22. Bonne chance with that.

Le Crillon 5/5: Lot 2312 SUITE DE TROIS PRESENTOIRS, Estimation 400 - 600 € [artcurial]
Apr 18-22, 2013: VENTE AUX ENCHÈRES DE 3 500 LOTS DE MOBILIER ET VINS DU MYTHIQUE PALACE PARISIEN LE CRILLON [artcurial]

So I spotted these kind of awesome, silver Miffy banks in the NY Times this afternoon, and for a while, I worried the difficulty in tracking them down was because this Parisian jewelry designer Marie-Helene de Telliac has hoovered them all up to make her bookstack Miffy frieze.

But I found them, because that's what I do. And here they are.

They're produced by Zilverstad, a large silver and metalware manufacturer in Dick Bruna's home country, the Netherlands, and they're just the awesomest of a very large collection of Miffyware in stainless steel and silverplate.

15cm Spardose/Money Box "Miffy" by Zilverstad, EUR 35,99 [amazon.de]
Simplicity of Luxury [nytimes t magazine]

Way back in the day I used to work on an education-related startup at Disney, and I think that their focus grouping Sofia The First at pre-schools is as hilarious as it is appalling.

The children are students at ABC Little School (the private school has no connection to the Disney-owned network). Like a small collection of other schools in the greater Los Angeles area, this school welcomes Disney Junior executives into its facility several times a year so they can meet with small groups of preschoolers and kindergartners to get their opinion on episodes in development for series like "Sofia," "Jake and the Never Land Pirates" and "Doc McStuffins." In exchange, the children are given Disney Junior stickers and the school receives $100 per visit.

Sofia the First: Disney Junior Test-Markets A Modern Princess [wsj]

After another reported assault by violent, tip-hustling muppets, the NYPD and government officials said that sorry, there was really nothing to be done.

"It's very challenging legally because dressing up in a costume and walking around Times Square is, we believe, a First Amendment-protected activity," said Christine Quinn, the city councillor running for mayor, to the NY Post.

Yeah, that. Too bad there's not an obscure 1845 law against wearing masks in public, or does that only work for the consistent, decades-long harrassment and arrest of protestors?

Beastly burden: No way to stop costumed pests [nypost, image: chad rachman/NYP]
Law Banning Masks at Protests Is to Be Challenged [nyt]
Previously: Our long, Central Park-roaming, Jew-hating Elmo nightmare is over

Unless, of course, you're the person who already bought it from etsy seller Blueflowervintage.

Sibast's No. 8 chair was first designed in 1953, but I don't know when the kid-size versions were made.

If missing the chance to buy one Sibast kid's chair bums you out, you will definitely not want to click through to Lost City Arts, who sold a set of six.

Perhaps if they get production of the grownup No. 8 going smoothly, the new, grandson-led Sibast Furniture will add a kid-size version next.

Vintage Wooden Danish Modern Child's Chair - SOLD [etsy via dt reader sara]
Set of 6 Danish Childrens Chairs by Sibast Mobler - SOLD [lostcityarts]
Sibast Furniture [sibast-furniture.com]

Remember last fall when that sweet, mime-lookin' Antonio Vitali puppet turned up? Well, he's back. And now he can be yours.

Georgia-based design aficionado Aaron Cohen, who found the puppet, just launched a week-long, kid-design-themed sale at Fab.com, and the puppet's in it. Also for sale: a lot of great books and vintage toys; a copy of Antonio Vitali's monograph; these sweet, painted blocks [which are, alas, already sold] and on and on.

A few of the toys are in boxes, just like the collectors like'em, and a few are pretty seriously played with, which frees parents of today to let the kids of today continue beating them to hell.

Cohen's new site, project OBJECT, seems focused on mid-century graphic design and ephemera; maybe there'll be more kids stuff mixed in going forward.

project OBJECT Shop | Fab.com Preview [projectobjectshop via aaron]
project OBJECT mid-century design delights Apr 8-15 [fab.com via dt reader nathan]

"No matter how puzzling or frustrating your baby's crying may seem at first, you will soon learn to understand the reason(s) for the tears and how best to respond, [like, for example, by starting a Tumblr.]"
- Baby's Best Chance: Parents' Handbook of Pregnancy and Baby Care, BC Ministry of Health, 1994.

Reasons My Son Is Crying [tumblr via @cspanbill]

Seriously, kids go through so much stuff, so quickly, it really all should be made of cardboard. And then it's like, seriously, just make that yourself.

Which is a severe underselling of the awesomeness of Tokyo expat Amber's kids & cardboard projects blog, mook: Amber came across a how-to guide for making cardboard kids' furniture, and decided to whip up the playtable and chairs for her two little daughters [above].

Two years later, the Collective is a major node in the global cardboard lifestyle network, with mecha-kawaii projects like making floppy little cars out of corks; hosting neighborhood cardboard playdates, and my own favorite [after the OG table & chairs, of course]: this sweet kids dresser system made from upcycled kiwi boxes.

The mooks that got the ball rolling, btw, were called パパママつくって! [Papa, Mama, Make it!] by Ishukura Hiroyuki, and were published by NHK. パパママつくって!遊べる学べる段ボールおもちゃ, Play & Learn Cardboard Toys, came out in 2009, and パパママつくって!かわいい段ボール家具, Cute Cardboard Furniture was released in 2006. Amber had sold a few copies on etsy at one point, but now you'll have to fend for yourselves on Amazon Japan or wherever.

The Cardboard Collective [thecardboardcollective]
Stackable Cardboard Dressers for Kids [thecardboardcollective]

Kudos to John Galliano, who, in his F/W 2013-14 collection for John Galliano Kids, brilliantly overcomes the controversy surrounding his multiple, unhinged Nazi-ish harangues against hapless Marais cafe-goers with video cameras, by returning to his visionary roots by dressing the kids as couture thugs and hobos.

John Galliano Kids F/W 13, soon to be available everywhere, I'm sure [via publicist]

Gaijin-turned-Edo-ko anthropologist Chris Berthelsen has spent years documenting the stickers, stencils, tags and graffiti of various neighborhoods around Shinjuku and Shibuya for his Tokyo Street Art Research Project.

Until now the best way to see the fruits of his labors was to dive into his sprawling sets of photos on flickr, 5,500 and counting, or maybe try a self-guided tour following his hand-drawn maps.

But Berthelsen's A Small Lab has just put out a 180-page set of Tokyo Street Art coloring pages, which you can print out for your kids to caption or assemble into their own stories.

The electronic format gives you the flexibility to create your own "Safe For English Speakers" editions. Though there are probably worse ways for your kid to learn the f-bomb than from the first page of her indie Japanese street art coloring book, the effect when she drops it at preschool is the same.

Coincidentally, DT reader/hero/Tokyoite Amber sent the link to Berthelsen's street art photo project just as my friends at Wooster Collective announced a major breakthrough in how street art photos are commercialized and distributed. Given that the TSARP has been an open-sourced labor of love since at least 2009, I'm inclined to grandfather it in.

update from Tokyo: Chris responds to the post:

Thanks for putting this up - I really appreciate the support.
Thanks also to Amber from thecardboardcollective.

As you mentioned, all the original photos of are up on Flickr.

All of the colouring-in pages are also up on Flickr here:

Easy to get for free, but putting the package up for sale is just a way people can get them in an easy format and show support/recognise my time and effort (in addition to the work of the original artists) :)

Tokyo Graffiti Research Project; also on flickrThe Cardboard Collective]
Tokyo Street Art Colouring-In Pages, $3.50, srsly [gumroad]

I saw this a couple of weeks ago, then lost it, and not it's found again. Gallerist NY critic Andrew Russeth calls it "Baby Gutai." It's an audience re-staging of Murakami Saburō's 1956 Gutai work Passage, where the artist leapt through a series of paper-covered painting stretchers.

It's obviously the playground part of Gutai: Splendid Playground, the Guggenheim's exhibition of the influential Japanese postwar avant-garde art collective's work.

"Baby Gutai" [andrew russeth's vine]
Gutai: Splendid Playground runs through May 8 [guggenheim.org]